What Parents Say – about Anne’s work

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Anne's parenting course gave me a rare chance to look at the bigger family picture. Through the information given by Anne and shared stories of other parents I learned some invaluable techniques to help me to be the parent I want to be and to help my kids to be happier. As a result I feel empowered and life at home is improving every day. I am enormously grateful to Anne for her knowledge, sensitivity and enthusiasm for family matters. I can’t recommend the course enough. (extract)

Thank you very much for the course over the last few weeks. I have taken a good deal and it has definitely significantly improved my relationship with my daughter. I enjoyed the informal style of the course and the sharing of stories between us - this really helped me to challenge my assumptions and get some good ideas. I found the techniques simple and easy to try and your role play helped to give me ideas on how to use them.

Anne's approach to parenting support is second to none. If you want a calm, confident household where as a parent you feel in charge and in control (rather than a shouty referee) then Anne can really help. If you want to get the best out of your children Anne will show you how.

It's been just over a week and I have noticed my son has been much more cuddly towards us this week. We're still getting incidences every day of hitting and tantrums, but it does seem much less this week than before. And my son hasn't had many lunchtime naps either which I think is the main factor. He is definitely better with me this week though for sure, he’s sought me out for cuddles and play. I feel positive and think we'll see in-roads each week.

This course is a must as it provides answers, explanations and solutions to so many questions and issues that all parents face while bringing up a child.

I spoke to Anne on the phone today and mentioned a specific issue I'm having, she gave me some such useful practical advice about how to approach it. I'm really excited about the course! I think being able to share our experiences will make it much more useful than just reading a book.

I was emotional writing this. The difference in her behaviour since September has been amazing. She is a happier child - still moments of difficulty but we are using the methods regularly. THANK YOU.

Working with Anne has been the answer for me. Her guidance gave me the strategies and techniques to get things back into perspective

It is a great shame parenting courses, like Anne's, are not offered as an add-on to pre-natal classes. This course is a must as it provides answers, explanations and solutions to so many questions and issues that all parents face while bringing up a child. Anne is a fantastic facilitator and educator. She not only covers the core material but also provides useful feedback and advice tailored to each parent's issues and situation. I would highly recommend Anne's course.

It wasn’t always easy. I found that the process worked by persevering continually, even during times of despair! The emotions’ coaching felt awkward initially, but with practice, I can tell you, the difference in her behaviour was astounding. We had to practice managing her anger and frustration by identifying with her emotions. It really works. I think that ALL parents should have positive parenting. It’s a guide in the right direction for the future happiness of your child. Do it now!

Thank you for last night. As you said that you love your job because of the positive effect it has on people I thought I would let you know the following: I got home mentally and emotionally tired after our session knowing I had to get my stuff together for my very early start and then get to bed as quickly as possible. Just as I was about to hop in bed, my son woke. Crying loudly and moaning. It was the last thing I needed. But hey I was imbued with your words of wisdom, so I thought, well, no time like to present to try it out. I soothed him and using descriptive praise, reminded him of how well he’d slept last night and how he’d done very well this night ignoring the noises (the planes were very loud last night) etc. He nodded. He didn’t fight me. He cuddled me and settled back down to sleep. He didn’t wake again during the night and for the first time in months slept past his gro clock sun-rise and my hubby had to wake him. I believed you last night, but just that tiny triumph has spurred me on. I know there’s a lot of work to be done, but just knowing he wasn’t so stressed and relaxed enough to have a good sleep has made all the difference. So thanks again.

I am writing to you today in order to thank you for your great help with our children. We were recommended to you by another parent and immediately on our first visit to you we felt at ease. Your natural understanding of children’s issues and development was really apparent and your recommendations were easy to implement. We found an immediate effect in behaviour and confidence and after two years the effect has remained. I am grateful we were recommended to you and would suggest all parents consider your help to bring out the best in their children.

Help with bad behaviour

Sleep Talk Therapy

We have two children, a girl aged 3.5 years and a boy, who is 1.5 years old. We had been concerned about our little girl who is (now, was) extremely challenging and constantly pushing boundaries. She was also prone to tantrums, was very sensitive, was prone to unreasonable behaviour and a sense of not being ‘happy’. We were very concerned.

Our daughter was 21 months old when our son was born. During that time she had impetigo, which became infected eczema and spread all over her body. She had to be hospitalised for a week. At the same time, our newborn baby boy contracted pneumonia and was also hospitalised. This I know impacted on our daughter's behaviour. She had illness, hospital PLUS sharing ‘Mummy’ with a newborn to contend with. It was a very traumatic time for her, so much so her hair fell out three months later.

We didn’t know what to do and I knew we had to get help and advice to prevent things getting worse. We just wanted Lucy to be a calm and happy child. We wanted to nip it in the bud.

Then we found Anne!

We booked on Anne's Core Skills course. My husband and I looked forward to our sessions as it gave us inspiration and hope. We learnt new ways to tackle our daughter's tantrums by using a positive approach rather than getting frustrated and cross with her. I can tell you, the results in a matter of days were remarkable. She would listen and respond positively. The techniques we were taught to use were amazing. It was like having a ‘lightbulb’ moment. It all made sense. The Emotions Coaching was difficult initially, but Anne reassured us and explained this was normal when parents first start and with practice, I can tell you, the difference in her behaviour was astounding. Helping her manage her anger and frustration by identifying with her emotions really works.

Anne also recommended that we learn the SleepTalk® process, which helps much more with emotional issues, because of the difficult time our daughter had had. It wasn’t always easy, especially to persevere continually even during times of despair! Together with the Positive Parenting it has helped to make our daughter much calmer and more reasonable. We will be using this nightly method until she is in her teens!

I think that ALL parents should have positive parenting. It’s a guide in the right direction for the future happiness of your child. Do it now!

Finley’s story

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Finley is my spirited' child. Came out screaming and cried louder than any other baby we knew; even the cranial osteopath couldn't get his hands on him long enough to help in anyway. He seemed to feel desperate to communicate or desperately misunderstood. He's grown up showing signs of being pretty smart, clever, and, I think, possibly unable to deal with what he learns about the world and his own emotions. We've always struggled with his temperament: some days we were happy and breezed through the day (not a regular occurrence) and other days we felt like we were walking on eggshells (especially as he got older).

He's now 5, and we started the SleepTalk®, about 8 or 9 months ago. I came to do it because I was starting to worry that he was really imbalanced emotionally, and worried about what he'd feel like growing to teenager and adult. I was also worried sometimes about my own state of mind. Other people noticed it too. He's a lot better with others and a lot worse at home, but sometimes things would happen in public: he'd hit me at the park, or he'd scream so loud and freak out so extremely that people would just stop and stare in shock. We have a very loving, very stable home life, with both parents around a lot, but we've always also struggled with discipline. There's been a lot of him hitting us, having meltdowns, and really irrational behaviour. I know he's just a kid growing up, but it was worse than anything I was seeing with my friends and their kids. As for me, I would often become angry to the point where I was losing control, where I would be crying because I just couldn't take it anymore. To the outside world, people think I'm very calm and that Finn was a bit challenging but a lovely boy. But at home, sometimes it just felt like too much.

So, how has Sleeptalk® helped? At first his behaviour worsened, but as Anne had warned us of this we stuck with it. During the day I found it much easier to set boundaries and stick with them rather than feel guilty, and over a few days I noticed things were improving. I started to notice he was beginning to catch himself before he lost it by suddenly noticing a "beautiful sunset" outside over my shoulder. It was subtle things like this, but I felt he was starting to learn how to deal with his emotions better. The decision to get absolutely firm about his discipline was also much easier. I used to be wracked with guilt if I disciplined him in the past, but knowing he was now receiving unconditional love sub-consciously made it easier to set our boundaries.

We'd talked through a strategy with Anne: if he spoke to me in a rude tone = time out, if he hit me = time out, if he ignored me too many times = timeout. On a couple of occasions, he still kept pushing so was sent to bed without dinner, and that's what seemed to crack it. After two days of this stronger discipline, I noticed his behaviour was MUCH better and he was generally MUCH more balanced. Of course I still slip now and then with the discipline, but these days he rarely has to go on a time out.

Recently we have started doing specifics and I was shocked to see that literally the day we started working on his behaviour and lashing out he got loving with his teddies and insisted on taking one to the park with him and kissing and cuddling it!!! NEVER has he done that before. I think SleepTalk® could seriously give troubled children (or in fact all children) a chance at a healthy, balanced out look on life. It takes time and you have to stick with it, but I look at Finn now and see him growing into such a bright, smart, happy, little boy and I don't feel any concern about his future. We are closer and our relationship has a great depth to it.

Finley's mum

Molly’s story

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We started SleepTalk® with Molly in November 2009 as I wanted her to bond with her daddy and to try and gain some confidence.

She cried if I tried to leave her to go to work, at parties, friend's houses, playgroups etc. Molly had also just had a new brother.

Initially as our diary shows Molly reacted to SleepTalk® very quickly and woke many times a night. This was not abnormal as she had just had a new sibling so was unsettled. Molly continued to be unsettled but gradually over a period of months she improved with her sleep. Her daddy found that if he spoke to her then she slept better. We tried this approach for a few weeks until she started to wake again so we went back to sharing.

Molly, over the months, did become much more settled with her daddy when I had to go to work and did not cry for ages when I left. It has taken until March of 2010 for Molly to be happy in new situations and being left at parties. She is now involved in holiday clubs, which she loves. She is now happy for me to go to work and does not get upset.

We tried to introduce new words into Molly's words at night but found as soon as we did she started to wake again. I spoke to Anne who said it was fine for us to continue with the foundation stage.

We have loved the SleepTalk® process and, although it has been much harder to do than we had realised, we are enjoying the benefits so much. We will continue to talk to Molly and her brother and hope that we build that foundation for them that they need.

Thank you Anne you have been wonderful and made such a difference to our lives.

Hari’s story

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Last week Hari said "it makes me FEEL really HAPPY when I draw pictures from Diary of a Wimpy Kid! This is a set of books he's reading. We then decided to get him to record himself on the webcam. There was a 40 sec clip of him reading Diary of A Wimpy Kid, 30 seconds playing the guitar and 30 seconds reading a poem his sister wrote when she was at his school.

I then said would you like to put that on a CD? - answer yes! Would YOU like to give it to your teacher or do you want ME to? Answer you can give it! No hesitation.

I spoke to his teacher and the Head and asked his teacher to watch the CD before the holidays and then perhaps, Hari and his teacher could watch it together and then slowly we could ask if Charlie (his good friend) could sit in with them and watch it again. His Head Teacher asked me if Hari wouldn't mind her watching it - I asked him - he said sure she can! All this has happened in the space of yesterday and today! His teacher just called me! Delighted!!!

Hari is now making a list of who else can see it (possibly his whole class and other teachers). This is fantastic. The good thing is that his teacher is watching his reactions very carefully and asks me before anything else will be introduced. We don't want to move too fast. He understands Hari MUST BE HAPPY with what’s been suggested.

I will talk to Hari tonight and make sure he is happy with everything and what he's happy with happening next.

His teacher also filled in the assessment form last week before all this news - should I post this to you? It's really looking positive (touch wood!). Thanks so much...

Penny

Anthony’s story

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Meeting Anne Denny changed our lives and SleepTalk® has had an amazing, positive effect on the whole family.

My son Anthony began to experience problems once he started school aged 4. I was constantly called to the school by the staff because he was unsettled, being disruptive or disobedient. He seemed to be a round-peg-in-a-square-hole child at school. He has few friends and generally struggles to get on with his peers.

He is currently being assessed by CAMHS as it is suspected he may have mild Asperger's Syndrome.

I began SleepTalk® on Thursday 11th February 2010 just before half term. As instructed I waited until Anthony was asleep, approximately 40 minutes after he had gone to bed and followed the process. The following morning Anthony was very affectionate towards me. He is a fairly tactile child but this was different, he was very smiley and seemed very happy. He gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. This carried on for the next few days and over the weekend. The following week was half term. Anthony is allowed to stay up until 9pm during holidays but I kept to the process.

We were to go away on holiday the following week and as I was packing Anthony found my SleepTalk® prompt card. I was very worried and was not sure he should see it. However, after he had read it he hugged me and told me it was wonderful. I explained that I read this to him when he was asleep. He asked if I could also read it to him when I put him to bed. I started to do this from that night onwards.

Anthony has been calmer and his concentration at school has improved. His class teacher told me the staff have noticed a marked improvement in his school work and his behaviour. He managed to sit all of his SATS last month without incident - a major achievement! A year ago this would not have been the case. I have only been called to the school once since I started SleepTalk® and only because having been through a speech and language assessment Anthony had become very upset.

He has not become an angel and still has minor behavioural problems, but the difference in him is incredible.

Eyvette

Oscar and Elliot’s story

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My husband and I were introduced to Anne in November 2009 by a colleague who was using her services with great results with her little boy.

We have 2 sons ages 3 and 5, both diagnosed with Autism. We were having many issues with them from behaviour, eating, sleeping, communication, anxiety, low self-esteem, to name but a few.

After speaking to Anne and being reassured that the boys’ language and communication barriers would not be a problem for the therapy, we decided to try it out. We were warned that with our kids it might take longer to see results, however we saw Anne 3 months later for a review and were amazed at some of the results already.

Firstly our youngest, Oscar had some real breakthroughs with his eating. He has always been very reluctant to try anything new and had a very bland diet which also had to be pureed like baby food as he could not tolerate lumps and wouldn’t chew meat. He wouldn’t touch fruit (we spent a fortune on smoothies as it was the only way he would have it), he wouldn’t eat cake or hardly any biscuits, didn’t like jelly (texture) would only eat potatoes. By February he suddenly became more open to trying new foods, the food battles stopped almost overnight.

We were getting reports back from nursery that he was eating rice and chicken and sweetcorn (he never ate food with skins!) and that the chicken was chopped up, not pureed and that he was eating apples and bananas. We started trying him with new things at home like jelly and cake and different biscuits (all the things kids like to eat at parties and Oscar never ate any of it). Then he was munching on cake, jelly pots and was eating pears and drinking pure juices and eating oranges!

Today he will try everything we put in front of him (he doesn’t always like it but he will just pop it into his mouth and try it – not even smell or lick it first which is what he used to do). The food issue has been a major problem for us for the last 3 years and as he is on a special diet and we were always worried that he might not be getting all the nutrients due to his restricting diet. We are over the moon by his progress.

Oscar has also learned to read and write and can pick up any book and just read it. He can draw shapes and write their names next to them and he is teaching himself the piano (Beethoven’s 9th Symphony is his favourite!) He has started interacting more with his brother, Elliot, and he seems much happier in himself. His language has improved and he is bi-lingual (his father’s French). He never really used the French before so we were not sure he was coping with 2 languages, but all of a sudden he started using the French and he has been picking up Spanish from a television programme. He has calmed down more at Nursery and seems more focussed. He still has many issues but we are confident that we will be able to work through them with him.

With our oldest child, Elliot, the results have been more subtle. Elliot was never a tactile child, he didn’t like kisses and cuddles (he tolerated them) but since the SleepTalk™ we noticed that he became more tactile, coming to us for kisses and cuddles instead of us instigating it all of the time. He became more emotional and tearful for a while but gradually his confidence seems to have improved and so has his language.

He plays more with his brother, although his brother intimidates him and tries to dominate everything, they have moments where they are playing happily together. His confidence in his reading and writing have grown – before he would never attempt to write letters as he knew that it would never look like the picture in his head as his coordination wasn’t brilliant. But now he will confidently ask us what letter we want him to write and do it. He goes to bed much easier than before and is more willing to try new things.

We are thrilled with their progress so far and are now working closely with Anne to tackle some of their other issues.

For Elliot: Building on his self-esteem, especially with regard to his brother
For Oscar: Building on his separation anxiety from his mother and his unwillingness to share her with his brother

We are confident that these issues can be resolved with SleepTalk®.

Claire & Gilles

Wilf’s Story

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We came to Anne out of desperation, and how happy we are that she was recommended to us!

Our toddler was unbelievably angry following the arrival of a baby brother. It is no exaggeration to say that his behaviour was, at times, really terrible and difficult to cope with.

Anne not only explained everything very clearly but also provided much appreciated reassurance by giving us the support of being able to go back to her at any time.

The SleepTalk® programme could not be easier to follow. We saw results in the first few weeks and the programme undoubtedly helped solve the issues our elder son had; his behaviour improved quickly and dramatically, it was quite amazing.

By continuing to use the programme with both children we believe we are giving them an excellent start in life. We believe that SleepTalk® is very special and that every child of any age would benefit from it. We recommend SleepTalk® and Anne to any parent.

Charlotte